Friday, November 4

5 Minute Fridays: Remember

(This post is in conjunction with "5 Minute Fridays" sponsored by the Gypsy Mama. Every Friday she offers a one word prompt, and hundreds of bloggers join her in writing for just 5 minutes, unedited, whatever comes to mind...an exercise in teaching ourselves be freer writers! Join in (if you have a blog) or join here to read whatever comes to mind!)




Remember...


God said to me...the other day while I was out for a run...and I started remembering when I was in my early 20's and pursing everything I thought I wanted...


A career in publishing, an apartment in Cambridge, M.A.  near some very, very, very smart people who were attending a little University called Harvard...I was thin, and had time to exercise, and cook great meals and snuggle with my husband, and my clothes fit...my size...gasp...4 clothes! I felt confident and on my "way"...to what? I don't know, but I was where I thought I wanted to be...


It  was where I wanted to be...


Perhaps it wasn't exactly where God wanted me to be...


So that day, while I was running, i was thinking about all of those things...perhaps in a spirit of reminiscence, perhaps from a place of longing (if ONLY I could wear a size 4 jeans again), perhaps in a spirit of discouragement because this new job of 4 1/2 years....this being a stay at home mom, makes me feel undone, unqualified, uncertain...and unidentifiable some days....


and then God said...


Lisa, what if you are closer today...in all of your tiredness, in all of your chaos, in all of your confusion, to being closer to where I want you to be than you ever, ever, ever were as that 22 year old girl who thought she was right where SHE wanted to be...


Sigh...


God is doing a work in my heart. A work in my life. My work was an outer work...things the world would see. His work is deep,  internal, it is a soul work...and while it feels uncomfortable and strange and disorienting some days...He has placed a hope that I will emerge from my cocoon...


In a beauty that HE wants the world to see...






This post was my first attempt at "5 Minute Friday!"...a challenge put on by Gypsy Mama to write, unedited in just 5 minutes!!! 





4 comments:

  1. Found you via Gypsy Mama...
    It is amazing to look back at our lives and see where God has taken us, isn't it? ANd I miss the size 4 jeans a little bit, too. :)

    Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wonderful post! I think it's often this way. That what we want and what He wants are different, but then our heart can change and our wants can align.
    It's an exciting journey, isn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's so easy to "lose" ourselves in "our" worlds and get carried away with what WE think we should be doing. I am so happy that you continue to come back to this place with Him and grow even more in your faith.

    xoxo

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