Hello friends and faithful blog readers (who are mostly, um, my sister, my best friends, my sister in law and mother in law!)...You ladies rock!
Well, it's been almost two years since Little Writer Momma found its way into cyberspace...Two years of my crazy days as a mom, random life moments, thoughts on fellowship with God and many other silly, thoughtful and funny moments in between.
I've enjoyed every minute (or post!) of it. Blogging has been a great outlet and exercise in regular writing for me. It has been a way to capture moments, milestones, and emotions. It has been a way for me to connect with other women who I may otherwise have never met, and a way for people who know me best to get to know me even more deeply (even my husband who said, "Lis, I feel like I know you even better after reading your blog posts).
So, for all of those things I am very thankful!
It is also for all of those reasons that although, for a while, even though I've felt as if I might need a little blogging break I've persisted...until now.
Yes, I'm taking a break. I know, I know, it's like your therapist telling you they're leaving you...I promise you'll be o.k. And it's only temporary...I swear! I'm sure you'll all survive without the stories of my preschoolers peeing on floors and stomping on toads and running rampant through grocery stores.
A friend from my MOPS (mothers of preschoolers for those who don't know!) recently said "I read x, y and z blog when I need something calm, collected and beautiful. I go to Lisa's blog when my day has been nutty and crazy and all over the place because I know hers has been too!"
Haha! That was the purpose all along...to make ya'll feel like you're not alone in the craziness of motherhood.
It will still be the purpose when I return...I swear. Just hopefully with more focus and panache (whatever that means...it's really just a cool word that I've always wanted to use and never had a chance to!).
My hubby, who cracks me up, did not believe me when I told him that I wasn't going to blog for a while...I think he might have actually rolled his eyes...in a good, loving and funny, "Lis, c'mon just give it a couple of days" kind of way.
"Seriously honey," I said, "I feel like God is telling me to take a break. That it has become a distraction from some of the more important things that I should be focusing on and that it has also become something I never wanted it to be."
"It's like you're telling me you're not going to use your left leg for the next 7 weeks...I'm just surprised"
Yes, blogging has become that much a part of my life. And perhaps that is why I am taking a break.
"I get it," Scott said, "Sometimes when things become so close to us we need to take a step back."
Also, when I prayed about my writing (several months ago) and for direction in this area, guess what I felt like God said...
"Clean your house."
"Say what? I'm asking about writing, not my house, what direction should I pursue with my writing."
"Your house...clean your house..."
In summary, here is what I feel like God was saying...
"Lis, I know you have a big heart and passion to communicate to others. I know that you love interviewing people and writing about them and writing for others about your life...and I have plans for you...because not only do I know, I created those desires...That said, in order for you to fully pursue your passions in the way you'd like to, in the way I'd like you to be able to, you need to get your home life in order."
At the time, I was taking on a few more freelance projects, doing the MOPS newsletter and trying to post frequently on my blog. I figured if I just pulled back on the freelance work I'd feel better about where I was...
It didn't work that way...I simply started blogging more and filling my life with other things.
Then I attended that wonderful blogging/writing conference last weekend. And, it was wonderful and insightful, but I've got to tell you...it was a little overwhelming too...
I heard stats like that there are 6 million mom blogs out there! Some of the women at the conference have thousands of followers...Some of those women blog and tweet and connect with thousands of other women daily! And for some of them it has become a full time job ( there are women who are supporting their entire families on what they make from their blogs!).
All of that is great, and God is using a lot of them in cool ways, and I am happy for them (maybe happily jealous sometimes, but happy nonetheless!)...But I just felt like it was something I couldn't keep up with...the levels at which they are producing posts and content and connecting socially...maybe I'm not supposed to either but my thinking got a little off track...
How in the world am I supposed to keep up with all of this? I found myself asking. This is like a hamster wheel (and sometimes feels like a popularity contest (sometimes...)) that I can't compete with.
Thoughts of...eeekkk....high-school! came flooding back...insecurity, inadequacy...yadda, yadda, yadda...
I'm done going there. To the high-school emotional place that is...God has done such great work in my life since then that I don't need to go to that place anymore. When things start to make me feel that way I retreat from those things for a while...to gain perspective...just like being away from high-school for 15 years has finally allowed some wonderful perspective on some hurtful moments...
alright, so now I'm getting all blah, blah, blah on you...
In conclusion...I'm taking a break to clean my house...to get my file folders in order, and the mound of clothes in my basement. To make the pediatric dentist appointment for Ava that I should have made months ago. To get a plan in place for meals and taking care of the house and investing in my children the way I want to and should be doing. To bring order to my closets and my mudroom and to be able to invest in the Thanksgiving and Christmas season in a tangible and intentional way.
Sometimes even good things (like blogging), get in the way of other good things and you have to figure out your priorities for a time.
I'm looking forward to re-joining all of the blogging craziness in the new year-- hopefully from a more organized place (my home), with more focus (my mind) and more inspired. I will update my "365" page (see the top of my blog) in early Dec. as promised, but that's it until January.
In the meantime, I'd love to know what all of you who have been reading so consistently, think...Which posts have been your favorites? What do you come to this space looking for (a laugh? inspiration? simply to know you are not alone in the chaos?)? How can I better serve you?
Hugs to you all. Happy Thanksgiving. Merry Christmas. See you in the New Year!
P.S. If you happen to be stopping by for the first time, thank you! and hope to see/hear from you again!!! If you click the links in the sidebar to follow LittleWriterMom on twitter or Little Writer Momma on Facebook you'll be sure to know when I'm back and kickin' (er...um...blogging!).