Monday, October 31
A Postion of Prayer
I got down on my hands and knees in the middle of my living room to pray this morning.
I hesitate to even share this because it was such a beautiful, intimate moment with God and sometimes the world of the web seems so very far from beautiful and intimate.
Having just returned from a blogging and writing conference this past weekend I feel even more acutely that the internet, and all that we are distracted from in it, can be SO far from holy sometimes. But God uses all to bring Him Glory, and can use the internet too... so I pray that this post would meet your heart in a holy place today...that it is not one more thing to distract you from taking care of your children, or loving your husband, or meeting with God...but that it would ultimately prod you to do all of those things more fully...
I went to this conference this weekend hoping to learn how to become a better writer...
I came home wanting to love Jesus more fully. Wanting to be a better wife and a better mother.
Love how God does that. Takes what we think we need and turns it into a way to teach us what He needs from us. To teach us what we really need...and how far it sometimes is from what we think we need.
So this morning I awoke early to steal some moments from a quiet house. I was praying...writing...thinking...reading...praying and eventually felt compelled to get out of my chair.
First I thought it was my mind being my silly mind.
"No. This is fine. That's silly."
The feeling persisted.
So I folded my hands and bowed my head low in my lap. Surely this was a more holy way to meet God.
The feeling persisted.
I got on my knees, next to my chair and rested my elbows on the cushions. Surely this was a more holy way to meet God.
Alright, I won't lie here...the chair stunk. Like gym class. It's an old chair...it was my husband's great- grandfathers, passed down to his mom, passed to us. It's been reupholstered, but it is still old. Many have sat, my kids stinky feet have stood. It smelled like gym class and morning breath.
Surely this was NOT a more holy way to meet God.
And so I moved to the floor. I got on my knees and bowed my head low. I felt silly and humbled...and realized NOW I was ready to go before God. He high...me low...a place worthy enough to pray.
The truth...again...I was initially pretty distracted.
My kids are going to pitter patter down those stairs any moment. "Mom!" They will say, "Are you o.k?" They will surely think I've finally lost my mind.
Or my husband's heavier footsteps, "Lis, What's up? You o.k.?"
Or my mother in law who was also sleeping upstairs. Surely I don't want my mother in law to think I've lost it...(Although she is certainly reading this and I love her greatly!).
"Oh honey...are you o.k.?" I can hear her say.
"Yes everyone. I'm o.k." I said in my mind. "I'm actually more than o.k. now that I am on the floor."
I thought for a moment about an image I saw this weekend...an image of a gathering of middle easterners all bowed low...they get on the floor five times a day to worship a god who doesn't even speak back...what we can learn from that!
I tried to pray. I was still distracted. All that moving around, and thinking about people walking in on me, and the newness of being on my knees. So I started the way I start when I'm distracted...I started with the words Jesus gave us to use in prayer...
"Our Father, who art in heaven...Hallowed! Praise! Praise! Praise! to your name (sometimes I improvise!).
Thy Kingdom come...Thy will be done...
On Earth...here on my dirty living room floor...as it is in heaven!"
I finished the Lord's prayer and we went on to have a great dialogue...Me on the floor looking up to my father like a small child on the floor looking to their parent for guidance and instruction...
It was good. It was right. It was holy.
And no one even came down the stairs....