Tuesday, September 14
Living Together: It Ain't Always Easy
My story today is about living with one another. With our family members. With our husbands. And sometimes our children.
It's not always easy.
It gets complicated sometimes.
Like this morning...
I'll start off by saying that I've often found one of the challenges of marriage is that you live so closely, and interact so frequently with your spouse (and children) that it can be easy for them to throw a little curve ball into your day.
It can be easy for them to make or break your day...sometimes. The 'making' I'll take (won't we all?!). The 'breaking', well, I'm learning to adjust to that. It's the curve balls that can turn your day sour that we, especially we women, need to learn to control our emotions around. Like this morning!
So what happened this morning you want to know? Well, nothing out of the ordinary. Just a curveball, but I figured you'd all be amused so I'll share.
Ava had pre-school this morning. A friend who lives close to us also send their daughter to the same pre-school so we decided on a little carpool plan for Tuesdays. One Tuesday she'll take the older girls to pre-school and I'll watch the little girls (we each have 1 1/2 year olds as well) at our house and then we'll switch the next week. That way on Tuesdays we either get a free mommy day to run errands etc. or we are home with the little ones at our house so we can get a few things done there (in theory!) while they play!
Her husband actually drove both girls this morning and she took Ella (God bless her!) so I had the morning free!
I needed it. My house needed it.
The house was trashed! Laundry everywhere, empty fridge, randomness all over the kitchen table and floors, the girls summer clothes needing to be put away and fall clothes organized into their closets-- all that good stuff.
Well, I was on the TOP of my game. Worship music blaring, smiling and happy, cleaning and folding and dancing like it was nobodies business. I was so thankful for the chance to get on top of this stuff. Though I am not a good housekeeper (compared to other momma's to whom it seems to come naturally...um...hmmm... my sister....!) my heart's desire is to create a home that is nurturing and comfortable, healthy and somewhat organized, for my family. This morning it felt like an act of love and an act of grace that I had the time to do some of these things.
Well, an hour into this happy cleaning frenzy I whipped out the vacuum cleaner and started vacuuming floors and rugs as well. I turned the music up to hear it over the vacuum and vacuumed away.
I have yet to mention that Scott was working from home during all of this. His home office is in our basement. If any of you have ever experienced the sound of a vacuum, especially on hard floors, through a basement ceiling...well, go ahead and laugh aloud now.
Apparently it sounded like a fighter plane flying through our house. Apparently.
Scott was on a phone call...which he did not inform me about...as I was vacuuming...I mean, flying my fighter jet, through the upstairs.
I ran down to switch the laundry and seriously...though Scott SWEARS he was not upset...I received the most vicious look known to wives as Scott mouthed...
"YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE!!!!!!!!!!" while he was still on the phone.
Whoosh. Smack. Whack. Pop. Happy mommy singing at the top of her lungs bubble burst.
I try not to be sensitive. And I've gotten SO much better. I swear! Scott will even attest to that. But when I'm caught off guard...well...
Scott found me upstairs, sitting in Ava's bed (it looked more inviting than my own!) SOBBING five minutes later.
I don't know. I think because life is HARD with kids and family and balancing it all. I so often feel like I'm merely surviving. I'm going through the motions of trying to keep everything clean and everyone fed, and keep tempers tamed with two pre-school/toddler aged kiddos.
It feels so hard and like there is no time to get on top of any of it. Finally you have a day to get ahead. You're feeling good, on top of your game and then whack! Your husband seems pissed at you because you are vacuuming because you want to create a nice home for HIM and you didn't know he was on a business call!
When he found me I was not pretty. I don't know if this happens to other ladies but I was all red and blotchy and blubbery and snotty. I really didn't want him looking at me!
He apologized profusely and went on to tell me that he really wasn't upset...it's just that the vacuum sounded like a fighter jet going through the hallway, he couldn't even hear the woman on the phone and he didn't mean to be angry...it was just an expression his football coach used to use when he was frustrated....the "you're killing me part" that is....
He told me he was sad he had burst my happy bubble. And, genuinely, he was.
It's just SO. DARN. HARD. to live with other people sometimes. Some days you just want to live in your little bubble all by yourself, don't you?!
We resolved it and then I got ready for a run. Scott sent me out with the following decree,
"Lis, I'm really sorry. I hope your bubble gets filled back up. Turn some more music on. Really God wants your bubble to be filled back up."
And it was a beautiful morning for a run. Perfect temperature. Beautiful blue skies scattered with big puffy white clouds. Goldenrod filled fields and fall flowers and leaves scattered about.
I thought about life and how I really do love my family. But how it is like a stinkin' roller coaster ride to live well with others sometimes.
My bubble did fill back up.
I listened to some great music on my run. When I picked the girls up from pre-school they were so darn cute and chattering away that I couldn't help but smile. Scott ordered and picked up a greek salad for me from a local restaurant. Ava and I went to the local corn stand and bought peaches, and pumpkins and corn. I'm sitting and blogging, Ella is still sleeping and Ava is sitting next to me eating a lollipop and watching Little Bear.
Life is Good. I am thankful and blessed.
Just need a few good tips on the life of a wife and managing my emotions...so if you have any, send them along!