A while back Ava was going through a stage in which her ABSOLUTE FAVORITE song was "The Wheels on the Bus." Well, about that same time my hubby coined a phrase that was used particularly in the evening, right around 8 o'clock or so, but sometimes earlier in the day. When all heck started to break loose, and we had a least one child entering meltdown mode, and sometimes two children at the same time, Scott would say,
"Alright! The wheels are falling OFF THE BUS!"
If we were out, this meant it was certainly time to get home. If we are home it means it is time to hightail things into bedtime mode ASAP!!!!
Well...today was a day where Mommy's wheels were falling off the bus...I needed a time-out, a bed time, a go to bed early ticket! Unfortunately, mommies don't get those so I just had to keep plugging along.
Ever have those days? Everything feels like it's out of control. Children are fighting. The house is a mess. You and your husband are throwing shots at each other (I'm sure that never happens in YOUR houses...it actually never happens here either...I'm just saying IF it did...).
I mean, if you read my blog regularly you might be thinking, "Lady, your wheels are ALWAYS falling off your bus!"
Well, while that might seem true, it would not be completely accurate...I just happen to need to blog on the days when they do feel like they're falling off, more than the days that don't feel that way...And besides, I figure you all like to hear the dirt because it hopefully makes your lives feel a little saner, a little more normal...so really I'm dishing my dirt for the betterment of all of you other mommas out there!!
So what did this crazy day look like?
Well, it started with a scheduled playdate at 9 a.m. to which I promised to bring fruit, cream cheese and bagels. No big deal, right?
I KNEW in order to get myself and the girls dressed on time (especially since I needed to shower), as well as rinse and cut the fruit, get the diaper bag ready and stop at Tim Hortons to pick up bagels that I should have been up by 7ish...
I stayed up too late reading my book club book last night (Water For Elephants)...I didn't get up until 7:30 and realized I needed to fill out and mail all of Ava's preschool paperwork by today in order for them to receive it on time.
Because Scott works from home we tend to have this boundary issue where I feel like I need help...and well, seeing as he's working in the basement...I holler down...too easy, huh? I really need to pretend he's not here, but I challenge you momma's to do the same thing when your kiddos need to be dressed, you need to shower and you are refereeing the fourth fight of the morning over some silly toy.
Everything was going fine until I stepped out of the shower and witnessed Ava push Ella to the floor over a puzzle that used to be Ava's, but which she has not had an interest in for MONTHS until Ella decided she was interested in it this morning. I yelled at Ava, Ella started crying, Ava started crying, I yelled down the stairs that I couldn't believe Scott could just ignore all of the chaos going on upstairs and furthermore "IT MUST BE NICE TO TAKE A SHOWER EVERYDAY BY YOURSELF WITHOUT SCREAMING KIDS...CAN'T YOU HELP ME ONE DAY??!!"
Scott yelled back that I needed to stop yelling at which point I started crying.
As Ella says these days, "Oh Boy."
As Scott says, "the wheels are falling off the bus!"
The rest of the day was not nearly as chaotic as the beginning. Scott and I had a chance to go out to lunch, where I cried, AGAIN...but we worked through things. I got a short nap in. I fed everyone hot dogs for dinner.
I chatted with my sister on the phone about how I need to let go of any expectations of Scott helping out in the morning...mostly because it's not fair to him-- he needs to work-- and I'm putting too much pressure on him. She's right.
It's just so darn hard sometimes...you're tired in the morning, the kids start fighting, they're hungry, you're hungry, the showering, the needing to get not just one person, but three ready to get out of the house...
What is the lesson here?
Get to bed on time.
Prepare as much as I can the night before.
Reduce expectations of Scott in the morning.
Get up on time.
Of all the things I don't know today the one thing I do know is that being a mommy is hard work. It's harder than I could have ever imagined. It's hard physically and emotionally. It changes your marriage. It changes your personal life. It prompts you to reflect on how you react to others and how you handle yourself.
As I've said before, thank God, literally, that HIS mercies are new every morning...that I get a new bus with new wheels to start the day over with tomorrow!